I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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