The maid of honor just puked.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
