at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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