Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
