my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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