i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
