This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
