omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
