doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
