So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
