Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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