Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
