you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize