The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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