i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
