I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
