we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
