you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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