are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
