Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
