That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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