I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I am naked and annoyed.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
