flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
This baby is an asshole
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
