if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
