I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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