Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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