Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
