What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
