I accidentally had phone sex last night
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
