That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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