Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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