evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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