Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize