in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
