this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Randomize
