I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
