Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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