you guys were way drunker than both of me
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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