I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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