you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
