my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
