I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
