so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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