This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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