too bad you live with your parents still
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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