i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
