so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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