i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
