YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
