Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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