he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
