the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
