I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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