you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
