the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
