Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
