Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
