come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
