I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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