I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
