i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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