Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wish I only lived at night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
