Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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