The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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