even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
